'I deeply appreciate the friend I have found in you. You always take the time to listen and care, without judging, simply accepting (most of the time!). I couldn't have made this journey without you. You're so busy, so stressed, but you took the time to care and actually develop an interest in me! Now that's a gem of an escort! like the gems in my writings, somehow I searched through lots of coal, and stones of massage therapists, and came up with you'.
The realization that you've unearthed these deeply locked, or just, withheld, emotions. Your true feelings or attractions to other men, unveiling themselves now, for the first time, in your entire life! What are you supposed to with potentially life changing reality?
This client, while wrestling his own private demons, (not unlike most of us), regarding
his newest emotional dealings, does touch upon some very valid, and worthwhile thoughts on what to do now! Or how one might be able to move forward.
The reference to those feelings as his latest "gem" I love, because a Gem, is known as a thing of beauty, not something to be feared, ignored, or to be disgusted with. A gem, a beautiful stone most admire, love, cherish, and save forever.
True to how these feelings are best handled also. With love, honor, and self respect to yourself, for acknowledging such feelings, for nurturing them, and allowing yourself to live, experience, and embrace them fully.
At the end of this one clients' thoughts, I share some more of my own thoughts, along with the reason, why I chose to share these writings with you, my readers!
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"My latest gem, the ah ha realization, that feelings are just there and we have no way as humans to control any one, feeling, or all, of our feelings. They just exist. Boy, that simple realization – for me – takes an awful lot of pressure from me.
The (three) options we have are conscious decisions.
The best one – the approach I want to use into the future, is to simply be aware that I have a certain feeling and acknowledge its existence. No guilt. No pride. Just a simple acknowledgement that this is how I feel.
The second option, ignoring; the feeling, stinks.
But worst; is burying the feeling, because of the hurt and pain. I ignored the feelings – my thoughts – because I had an idea they may rip me apart. The guilt and pain I didn’t want to feel.
Well, the fact is, I was feeling those emotions anyway! All I choose to do was ignore them.
Blocking me.
Using energy to keep under wrap. Than when I started to write and share with you, the feelings unfolded. It wasn’t until I was in the process of writing that I realized from where the pain and guilt came.
Not from meeting with you and experiencing a tremendously freeing physical experience. Or even for falling for you like I did.
The pain and guilt came from me not wanting it to stop, not wanting to push it aside –– but wanting to keep these tremendously satisfying feelings going, to feel so alive and good, but at the possible expense of a loved one’s feelings. (This reference, as many of you may relate to, would be his wife, or life partner, with whom he has several children, and a stable family life)
Did I solve the problem? – No.
Do I feel different now that I am aware of the source of the feelings? Hell yes.
The predicament remains, (this my friends is the best part of all) !...
but I now understand from where these feelings come. And recognize they are there. It’s simply freeing".
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** I decided to post this to give some of you guys out there, going through some of your own emotional turmoil regarding these new found feelings, or experiences, about, or with, other men, someone elses' perspective, in hopes that in reading, it might help shed some light on how you might be able to approach or adjust your own thoughts regarding some of your own man to man sexuality challenges. I omitted, but a few minor details in the very beginning. This is but one, of many such exchanges I continue to receive from this very recent addition, to my client base.
Whether you are just exploring your man to man sexual desires at 50+, or at 20+. Certainly, can be heavier and more deeply etched for the older men, but when any closeted man begins to be explore these often, contradicting emotions, that are going against the very core, of what you wanted to believe about yourself, or just always thought. The feelings that begin to flow can sometimes throw you into unpredictable, highly emotional upsets, that can really seem like they are just rocking your entire world upside down. How you deal with them is everything!
Know that at the end of this tunnel there is a light and all will be just fine. You can too, as most guys do. Come out feeling free, and lighter, as if a heavy burden has been lifted. Moral of the story is; You are not alone out there Gentlemen. **
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